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Burisma Affair: The Musical Soundtrack

by The Samizdat Commies

/

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1.
Archmere 01:33
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UPON THESE DEWY LAWNS AND WITHIN THESE HALLOWED HALLS HAVE TROD THE MOST ILLUSTRIOUS ALUMNI MEN OF LETTERS AND OF STATE WHOSE ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE GREAT WHO PROUDLY STAND UP EACH TIME GLORY CALLS ON THIS DAY YOU WILL HEAR OF THE VIRTUES WE INSTILL HERE THE COURAGE, STRENGTH, AND SENSE OF NOBLE DUTY AND WHAT WE STRIVE TO BUILD HERE, SHEDDING NO TEARS OVER SPILLED BEER DEVOTED LIVES TO VIRTUE TRUTH AND BEAUTY ARCHMERE, ALMA MATER OF THE BEST WHERE LEADERS OF TOMORROW SAY TO HELL WITH ALL THE REST OF HUMANITY’S UNWASHED MASSES WHO TOIL IN MISERY WHILE WE LIVE IN THE FANTASY OF A COUNTRY THAT’S STILL FREE ARCHMERE
2.
Karen, You Look Amazing 01:30
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KAREN, YOU LOOK AMAZING THANKS, SO DO YOU I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER, WITH UNDYING PASSION TRUE WE LIVE WITH ALL OUR MEMORIES, AND THE CHOICES THAT WE MADE IF I COULD JUST TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME… WE’D STIIL BE IN 8TH GRADE KAREN, YOU LOOK AMAZING IT’S ONLY BEEN FIVE YEARS EVEN SO, YOU LOOK…AMAZING YOU’VE ALREADY HAD FIVE BEERS, YOU KNOW, WE HAD A CHANCE, BUT NOW THAT TIME HAS PASSED I GUESS YOU’RE RIGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS JUST TOO GOOD TO LAST SO I GUESS, SEE YA LATER, LET’S GET ON WITH THE SHOW IT’S TIME FOR ME TO MAN UP, TO MY DESTINY I’LL GO I’LL BE STRONG BOLD AND COURAGEOUS, AND THERE’S ONE THING THAT I KNOW I’LL GET DRUNK AND LIVE THE LIFE I LOVE WITH HOOKERS AND WITH BLOW
3.
Hookers and Blow 01:10
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LIQUOR AND WEED AND HOOKERS AND BLOW CAN’T GET ENOUGH GIMME MO’ MO’ MO’ LIQUOR AND WEED... AND HOOKERS AND BLOW WHEN I FEEL THE URGE I JUST CAN’T SAY NO MY FEET’LL JUST START WALKING OVER TO THE SWEET AND LOW SIDE OF TOWN WHERE MY KINDA PEOPLE GO FOR LIQUOR AND WEED… AND HOOKERS AND BLOW YOU CAN TALK ABOUT HEAVEN AND THE VIRGIN MARY JUST GIMME THAT OLD TIME APOTHECARY SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEMS HERE BELOW LIQUOR AND WEED… AND HOOKERS AND BLOW LIQUOR, WEED HOOKERS AND BLOW
4.
Be Best 01:44
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IF I WANT TO GROW UP AND BE ALL I CAN BE I GUESS I’LL NEED TO OVERCOME THIS SENSELESS PIETY I HOPED I’D BE EXCUSED FROM THIS AND NOT PUT TO THE TEST BUT IN ORDER TO SURVIVE I MUST. BE BEST BE BEST IF WE WANT TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE WE’LL NEED TO GET UNDRESSED TAKE IT FROM MELANIA BE BEST NOW THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE IT, YOU’RE STARTING TO MAKE SENSE YOU’LL BECOME A REAL WOMAN WHEN YOU GIVE UP THE PRETENSE OF THINKING ABOUT TRUE LOVE AND THAT QUAINT ROMANTIC QUEST FORGET ABOUT THOSE FAIRY TALES…AND BE BEST BE BEST IF WE WANT TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE WE’LL NEED TO GET UNDRESSED TAKE IT FROM MELANIA BE BEST Nyet Pravda in izvestia Nyet izvestia in Pravda
5.
Do We Have a Deal (Or Don't We) 01:28
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LET’S DO WHAT EVERYBODY DOES GROW UP AND BE A MAN BECAUSE YOU’LL NEVER MAKE THE GRADE IF YOU FAIL TO GET PAID YOU’LL BE THE BOY, THE MAN WHO NEVER WAS STEP UP IT’S TIME TO BE A MAN FORGET YOUR BOYHOOD DAYDREAMS IF YOU CAN YOU WON’T BE THINKING THAT LIFE SUCKS WHEN YOU’RE RAKING IN THE BUCKS DO WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A BUSINESS MAN DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR DON’T WE? DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR DON’T WE? YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL WOMEN AT YOUR FEET WILL FALL, NOW DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR DON’T WE? BE STRONG AND STRENGTH WILL SET YOU FREE IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO BE ALL YOU CAN BE IT’S ALL ABOUT DEMOCRACY DECEPTION AND HYPOCRISY NOW DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR DON’T WE? Chorus DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR DON’T WE? DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR DON’T WE? DO WE HAVE A DEAL? DO WE HAVE A DEAL? DO WE HAVE A DEAL? DO WE HAVE A DEAL? DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR DON’T WE?
6.
An American 02:37
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WE’VE WAITED THROUGH THESE MANY COLD DARK YEARS FOR SOMEONE TO LEAD US FROM THIS VALE OF TEARS AN ALLIANCE FOR WHAT’S JUST, IS THE THING FOR WHICH I LUST NOW BEFORE ME THIS AMERICAN APPEARS WE’VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A BEACON IN THE NIGHT TO GUIDE US THROUGH CORRUPTION BY ITS LIGHT TO A WORLD WHERE FREEDOM REIGNS, AND FREES US FROM OUR PAINS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS HE’S COME IN TO MY SIGHT AN AMERICAN AN AMERICAN SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP ME REACH MY GOAL AN AMERICAN AN AMERICAN THE TORCH OF FREEDOM BURNING IN HIS SOUL FROM THE WEST WHERE DEMOCRACY STILL REIGNS UNFETTERED BY OPPRESSION’S CRUEL PAINS NOW I’VE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE TO WORK WITH AND GET DONE A DEAL TO BREAK FREE FROM THESE CHAINS AN AMERICAN AN AMERICAN SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP ME REACH MY GOAL AN AMERICAN AN AMERICAN THE TORCH OF FREEDOM BURNING IN HIS SOUL
7.
Burisma 01:58
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BURISMA SHALL PREVAIL THOUGH ON STORMY SEAS WE SAIL WE RULE BY FORCE OF SUPERIOR WILL AND OUR ENEMIES WE KILL BURISMA BURISMA WE PLEDGE OUR LOYALTY BURISMA BURISMA WE MARCH TO VICTORY BURISMA WILL NOT FAIL YA WE WIN HEARTS MINDS AND GENETALIA FULL CONTOL WE GOT USING KOMPROMAT SO WE HAVE NO NEED TO JAIL YA BURISMA BURISMA WE PLEDGE OUR LOYALTY BURISMA BURISMA WE MARCH TO VICTORY TO JOIN US YOU FIT ALL THE CRITERIA AND ONCE YOU DO YOUR ENEMIES WILL FEAR YA BUT IF YOU SHOULD GET SHAKY THEN YOUR LEGS WE’LL BREAKY BREAKY THEN WE’LL SEND YOUR ASS OFF TO SIBERIA BURISMA BURISMA WE MARCH TO VICTORY BURISMA BURISMA WE MARCH TO VICTORY
8.
Yulia 03:31
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I’VE SEARCHED THE WORLD OF POLITICS TO TRY TO FIND A GAL DIDN’T FALL FOR SARAH PALIN OR SEGOLENE ROYALE MY SEARCH FOR ALPHA FEMALES LEFT ME FEELING BLUE AND ALL AT ONCE I REALIZED I WAS IN LOVE WITH YU-LIA, TYMOSHENKO YULIA, YOU KNOW IT’S ALL ABOUT YU-LIA IF YOU LIVED IN DUPONT CIRCLE YOU’RE LIKE SOMEONE I MIGHT KNOW I WOULD SEE YOU AT WHOLE FOODS OR ON SOME BORING NEWS TALK SHOW BUT INSTEAD YOU’RE FROM A NATION, YEARNING TO BE FREE SOMEWHERE WEST OF RUSSIA, AND EAST OF GERMANY YU-LIA, TYMOSHENKO YULIA, YOU KNOW IT’S ALL ABOUT YU-LIA SHOULD I JOIN YOUR REVOLUTION? BE IT ORANGE OR RED OR GREEN YOU’D BE FIGHTING IN YOUR LONG WHITE COAT AND I’D FIGHT TO KEEP IT CLEAN WE’D STAND UPON THE RAMPARTS FACING CANNONS AND GRENADES WE WOULD OVERCOME IT ALL PROTECTED BY YOUR BRAIDS WE’LL WIN THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF ALL THE MEN AND BOYS ESPECIALLY IF YOUR BLOUSE FALLS OFF LIKE EUGENE DELACROIX’S PAINTING ABOUT LIBERTE EXPOSING HER DRAPEAU AND THAT IS WHY I’LL STAND WITH YOU, ‘LIA TYMOSHENKO YU-LIA, TYMOSHENKO YULIA, YOU KNOW IT’S ALL ABOUT YU-LIA
9.
Hookers and Blow Reprise 00:26
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LIQUOR AND WEED AND HOOKERS AND BLOW CAN’T GET ENOUGH GIVE ME MO’ MO’ MO’ LIQUOR AND WEED AND HOOKERS AND BLOW LIQUOR WEED HOOKERS, AND BLOW
10.
Submit To Me Now 02:45
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TO YOUR CARNAL PASSIONS YOURE A SLAVE LITTLE BOY I’LL TEACH YOU TO BEHAVE YOU NEED A LITTLE DISCIPLINE I’M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO TREAT YOUR MISTRESS PROPERLY SUBMIT TO ME NOW SUBMIT TO ME NOW THE WEAKNESS OF YOUR SOUL IS IN YOUR EYES AND THAT’S THE PART THAT I’LL INFANTILIZE THE FUTURE WILL BE FEMALE THAT I GUARANTEE YOU’LL READ IT IN THE BLACKMAIL, SENT TO YOU FROM ME SUBMIT TO ME NOW HAS IT REALLY COME DOWN TO THIS? MY LIFE IS SWIRLING ‘ROUND THE DRAIN I’VE GIVEN UP MY SOUL FOR A COLD BLUE KISS THE ONLY THING THAT FREES ME FROM THE PAIN IS MORE PAIN SUBMIT TO US NOW THAT NAUGHTINESS I’LL SPANK RIGHT OUT OF YOU THEN YOU’LL THANK ME WHEN YOUR ASS IS BLACK AND BLUE I KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT AND THAT’S WHY I’LL MAKE YOU BEG AND I’LL RECORD EACH PRECIOUS MOMENT AS I’M PEEING ON YOUR LEG SUBMIT TO ME NOW SUBMIT TO US NOW SUBMIT TO US NOW
11.
Keep the Change 01:43
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I’M HERE TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT FOR PAY THE GAME OF GOVERNMENT I’VE LEARNED TO PLAY I SELL THE HOPE FOR CHANGE, TO MORONS WHO EXCHANGE THEIR CASH FOR THE ILLUSIONS I PURVEY CAUSE I SOLD MY SOUL A LONG TIME AGO THEN I SAT BACK AND WATCHED MY NET WORTH GROW I DO THE BEST I CAN, BY WORKING FOR THE MAN AND NO, I DON’T CARE WHO I HAVE TO BLOW AMERICA, HOME OF THE GULLIBLE THE FREE THE BRAVE THE FOOLS THE RICH AND STRANGE THEY WANNA CHANGE THE WORLD THROUGH DEMOCRACY I’LL TAKE THE MONEY THEY CAN KEEP THE CHANGE
12.
Can't We All Please Get Along 04:15
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IT’S NOT BECAUSE YOU’RE BRIGHT, THAT YOU WILL WIN THIS FIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE SO INTELLIGENT AND GIFTED BUT YOU MAY BE UNAWARE, THAT YOUR ARGUMENTS LAY BARE THE FACT THAT FROM YOUR VALUES YOU HAVE DRIFTED YOU DECIDED AT THE START, TO IGNORE WHAT’S IN YOUR HEART AND USED LOGIC TO DISTINGUISH RIGHT FROM WRONG THEIR SOULS YOU DID NOT HEED AND NOW YOU CANNOT LEAD THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU DON’T GET ALONG ALL, THE WORLD, ALL WOMEN AND ALL MEN YOU KNOW WE HAD OUR CHANCE, AND NOW WE’LL TAKE OUR CHANCE AGAIN I’VE COME DOWN FROM HEAVEN, TO BEG YOU WITH THIS SONG TO GIVE UP THIS FOOLISH DRAMA AND TO SIMPLY GET ALONG ALL, THE WORLD, EVERY RACE AND CREED THE GOOD THE BAD THE IMBECILES THE RICH THE POOR ALL NEED THE HOPE THAT’S IN THEIR HEARTS IN A WORLD WHERE WE ALL BELONG WE CAN LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY IF WE ALL JUST GET ALONG CAN WE PLEASE JUST ALL GET ALONG?

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Official Soundtrack to Burisma Affair: The Musical. Download includes bonus pdf of 22-pg illustrated lyric book.

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released November 3, 2020

Musical Direction J-Anon
Sounds by The Samizdat Commies

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The Samizdat Commies New York, New York

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